Q: I think you were the bride blogger that didn’t have a wedding party. I was wondering how did you deal with that because I don’t have one, and people are driving me nuts. It’s like my wedding isn’t valid or something. People are calling me odd and saying things about my wedding. Did you go through that?

A: Yes. I got all kinds of unsolicited advice. But I am used to that since I run my life how I feel is best, and that doesn’t necessarily coincide with traditional standards.

I wanted our wedding to be about us. I didn’t have time for silly bridesmaid nonsense, I didn’t want the stress about what people were going to wear, how their hair was, if they were at rehearsal, and all the other things that I find to be completely unnecessary for a wedding.

The worst response I got was people thinking I was pregnant so that’s why I didn’t want a wedding party. I don’t know where that connection came from, but my hairdresser said, “No bridesmaids? What is this a shotgun wedding?”

My mental response was, “yes, you idiot, I am getting married 6 months from now because this is a shotgun wedding.” My verbal response was, “ummm no”.

Then there was my grandma who couldn’t understand why I didn’t want my sister in the wedding. She thought I was being mean and she pleaded and pleaded with me to let my sister be in it. Grandma can always make me crack, so I talked to my sister and she said she didn’t want to be in it because she understood why I wanted my wedding the way I did.

So my advice to you is just to smile and nod. People will always want to run their mouths about what you do. They’ll get over it and I bet once they are at the wedding you’ll be so beautiful that they won’t even notice.

Trust me, having a wedding party adds a lot more drama and stress than not having one.

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Q: These costs are adding up quickly so I want to cut to the chase in terms of spending. Do I have to have a wedding program? Is it rude not to? This is a small wedding and I don’t even know what I’d write in a program.

A: Nope, it’s not rude at all. Nor is it necessary. I’ve been to weddings with programs and thought it was cute, and I’ve been to weddings without programs and never even noticed.

Programs aren’t necessary in all cases, especially if you are having a small ceremony.

As for what you would write, I found that programs are helpful for giving people instructions. Since I got married on a boat mine stated that the ceremony was on the first level, the reception was on the second level, and they could browse the entire boat after the ceremony.

Whether or not people actually read it, I don’t know, but it was nice to have.

Also I wanted to give honor to my grandmother in a way that wouldn’t make me burst into tears. Having a photo at the ceremony would be too much, but a line in the program was just fine.

I also needed one more place (in addition to word of mouth, the wedding invite, and the wedding website) to make it clear that I wasn’t changing into “Mrs. Hislastname”

And I also gave our new address.

So you see wedding programs can be useful if you want, or you can make them cute and share your favorite quotes, your wedding party, etc. But never are they required.

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If you get married in a location that doesn’t come with a piano or musician you may need to find the “here comes the bride” music yourself. Technically it’s called “Lohengrin” and it’s by Richard Wagner.

Here’s the sheetmusic for Lohengrin in PDF format for your downloading pleasure.

Enjoy.

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