Q: I don’t want my fiance to have a bachelors party. I want to tell him but I don’t want to be accused of trying to ruin his fun. I also don’t want all his friends to call me insecure. What should I do?

A: Before I answer this, please keep in mind that I can be very conservative about certain things, and I do not take well to foolishness, or anything that hints of being objectifying towards women.

With that in mind, just tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. If he still thinks you are trying to ruin his fun, then you might find that this same issue comes up again later in your marriage.

I didn’t want my husband to have one either and I told him. I didn’t want him going out, getting drunk, and feeling on half naked strippers the night before our wedding. That is so disrespectful. Anyone who says otherwise is very desensitized, and dare I say….stupid. It’s all fun and games until you get cheated on.

Besides, if that’s your definition of fun the night before the wedding, it’s still going to be your definition of fun the night after the wedding.

Luckily he agreed with me, so that worked out. But I knew there were friends who were still trying to get him to go out. So I just suggested an alternative, “why don’t you go stay at the pastors house?”

Yea, yea, yea, you can laugh at me if you want, but that’s what ended up happening. He had time to be reflective about his upcoming marriage, instead of going out and acting like an untrained, ignorant, ape. It wasn’t one-sided, I had time to reflect as well as I stayed with my parents and had a nice dinner.

Good luck, and don’t try the pastor thing. That just worked for us because we had a unique situation. Just tell him how you feel and see what he says. He might not even want to do that.

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It’s time for some FAN MAIL!

Q: So you wanted to make sure everyone knew that you weren’t going to change your last name. You must not love your husband then. How rude of you. He must have been really embarassed of you. What kind of wife doesn’t want her husbands last name?

A: What kind of wife doesn’t want her husbands last name? A wife that realizes she had a name before she met her husband and that she’s pretty used to it at this point.

No it wasn’t an embarassment to him as he already knew how I felt about it before we were even engaged.

One day I sat down and told him how I felt about marriage and the name change thing.

If I were to get married, I’d wouldn’t just be marrying him, he’d be marrying me as well so why should I have to give up my name? I’m used to my name just as much as he is used to his. Would he want to change his name to prove he loved me?

If anything we should BOTH change our names because we are both getting married. So I told him that if I was to get married, either both of us would change our last names, or neither one of us would.

I went on to explain how the woman changing her name was based on a patriarchal custom in where women were property. They didn’t take their husbands last name out of love, they did it because when you got married, you were that mans property.

He told me he’d have to take all that in and think about it. Later on he said that I made some good points and he understood. So Missy, I love my husband very much and he loves me as well. That’s why we BOTH changed our last names.

Any questions?

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Hey Brides To Be,

While you are out spending hundreds of dollars on things that are going to end up in the trash, you might as well get a discount.

Rexcraft is having a 10% off sale this weekend. Use source code 10127. It expires March 3rd 2008.

Enjoy,

Frugally Insane Bride Diva

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Like most little girls I had dreams of what my wedding would be like. I’d have a beautiful dress, I’d grow my hair out long, I’d wear a crown, and I’d be just like a princess for a day.

That’s a nice picture, except for one thing. I was terrified that my day would be ruined because I’d be on my period.

Why that thought would cross a 12-year-olds mind, I have no idea. But I was always afraid that nature would decide to take its course on my wedding day so I prayed, and prayed that it would never happen.

I know I can’t be the only one who has ever thought of that. If you are checking your calendar and you see a big red X on or around your wedding day you may want to talk to your doctor because there are ways you can delay your cycle.

The choice is up to you, but I had a hard enough time walking to the bathroom in my dress. I can’t imagine worrying about how to ruffle through all that crinoline in order to change a feminine protection product. Unless of course you use Instead.

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