Q: I am on a budget. While I’d love to invite all of my family, friends, and their friends I simply can’t. We can’t afford it. How do I tell people without hurting their feelings?

A: I know how that feels. I was a little touchy about the subject myself. Most people who have had a wedding will understand if you politely tell them that you have budget and/or space restraints. Other people won’t understand, and they will be offended.

Then there will be the people who you never would have thought to invite, and they’ll be offended that they didn’t get invited. You just have to be prepared to deal with it. Weddings bring out the diva in people and I mean the bad diva, not the divine diva.

If there is a way you can cut back on other (unnecessary) expenses in order to invite more people then try that. Trust me, having people share in your experience is more important than $200 per table flower arrangements.

However you do have a right to invite (or not invite) anyone you want so if someone is going to be offended because you have a budget then I’d have to question what kind of friend or relative they are.

Just make sure you don’t leave off anyone important like your grandma.

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Q: I was thinking of having a pot luck wedding reception. Would it be ok to put that on my wedding invites? Heck, is it even ok to have a pot luck reception?

A: Well, that’s tricky. If you are just having more of a “celebration gathering” than a reception then I don’t see anything wrong with making it pot luck. Still, I wouldn’t put it on the invitations as word of mouth would be better.

However if this is more of a reception than a “celebration gathering” then how about asking certain family and friends to help you out instead of making it something that you are asking your guests to do.

If you are wondering celebration gathering means, I am thinking family and friends hanging out around the house, maybe outside with a bbq at the church…like you would do for any holiday or birthday. When I say reception I am thinking of renting a hall or other facility outside of a church.

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Q: We are having our wedding in the afternoon around 2PM. The reception spot that we want won’t be available until 7PM. It’s about 30 minutes away from the wedding so the drive won’t be too long. Do you think this would be ok?

A: No, I don’t think it’s ok. What are people going to do for 3-4 hours? It’s one thing if people live around the area then they can go home and relax a bit, (still I’d find it to be annoying); but what about out of town guests? I do understand that weddings run over, pictures take time, but still I find it horribly rude to have guests waiting for a long amount of time.

Perhaps if you have something planned for people to do or serve some sort of cocktails or hor’dourves it won’t be as offensive; but my advice would be to either change the time of the wedding, or find a new reception location.

Of course if it’s common in your region to have large gaps of time in between the wedding and reception then go right ahead, just remember to always consider how you would feel if you were the guest.

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Q: How do you feel about people who get married on Sunday? Is that inconsiderate? Will guests even come?

A: I feel that people who get married on Sunday’s are the most intelligent people in the world! Just kidding… kind of. My husband and I got married on a Sunday and it worked out just fine. Because of the location we chose, it would have cost the same if we had picked Saturday or Friday, but for a lot of people having a Sunday service can be a real money saver. Of course there will be people who will complain, but in my opinion if it’s that big of a deal then they don’t have to come. As long as you let people know well in advanced, then anyone who wants to be at your wedding will make the effort.

My wedding began at 6pm, the reception ended at 10pm, and everyone had a good time. Out of town guests planned in advanced, took Monday off, and stayed at a hotel. The people who couldn’t take Monday off just left at 10pm and went to work the next day. Everyone was happy for us, no one groaned about having to be there.

You might ask why did I get married on a Sunday. It was the date that mattered to us, not the day.

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