Q: My sister in law hasn’t asked me to be in her wedding but my mother in law told me that I’m in it. I don’t want to be a bridesmaid for a variety of reasons (the cost,
we aren’t that close, my age, and who is going to watch my children if both me and my husband are in the wedding?)

I just don’t have time for this kind of responsibility. I’d like to graciously decline but my mother in law already told my sister in law that I don’t want to be in the wedding.

Is there a way for me to politely get out of this, or do I suck it up and be the bigger person in the situation? HELP!

A: Being the bigger person doesn’t always mean that you should be forced into situations you aren’t comfortable with just for the sake of being nice.

But weddings are touchy things so the only thing to do is to cut out the middleman (or woman) and go to the source.
I would say something like:

I wanted to thank you so much for wanting me to be in your wedding. When “so and so” told me I was glad that you thought of me. I don’t know what you have heard, but I just wanted to let you know that I’d love to be in your wedding but it’s not a good time for me. I have so much going on right now. I’ll be happy to help in any way I can, but I don’t want to take on something so big and then end up disappointing you… but I am so excited for you. What colors did you pick?

Always end with something that shows your excitement so that it lessens the chance of the person getting upset or annoyed.

If she chooses to get upset after that, then that shows you what kind of person she is and that the Bridezilla effect is in full force.

People shouldn’t be so afraid to just be honest. If you can’t do something, then you can’t do it.

Good luck!

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