Q: I don’t want my fiance to have a bachelors party. I want to tell him but I don’t want to be accused of trying to ruin his fun. I also don’t want all his friends to call me insecure. What should I do?

A: Before I answer this, please keep in mind that I can be very conservative about certain things, and I do not take well to foolishness, or anything that hints of being objectifying towards women.

With that in mind, just tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. If he still thinks you are trying to ruin his fun, then you might find that this same issue comes up again later in your marriage.

I didn’t want my husband to have one either and I told him. I didn’t want him going out, getting drunk, and feeling on half naked strippers the night before our wedding. That is so disrespectful. Anyone who says otherwise is very desensitized, and dare I say….stupid. It’s all fun and games until you get cheated on.

Besides, if that’s your definition of fun the night before the wedding, it’s still going to be your definition of fun the night after the wedding.

Luckily he agreed with me, so that worked out. But I knew there were friends who were still trying to get him to go out. So I just suggested an alternative, “why don’t you go stay at the pastors house?”

Yea, yea, yea, you can laugh at me if you want, but that’s what ended up happening. He had time to be reflective about his upcoming marriage, instead of going out and acting like an untrained, ignorant, ape. It wasn’t one-sided, I had time to reflect as well as I stayed with my parents and had a nice dinner.

Good luck, and don’t try the pastor thing. That just worked for us because we had a unique situation. Just tell him how you feel and see what he says. He might not even want to do that.

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