It’s over. Who gets to keep the ring?

I say: It depends on who broke the engagement and why. Ladies if you are calling it off because you just changed your mind, give him the ring back. Men, if you are calling it off- you’ve broken a promise/commitment/verbal contract so don’t top it off by asking for the ring back. But there’s also the issue of why you are calling it off. If the reason the wedding is called off is because of lying or infidelity or some other outrageous flaw, the guilty party should deal with the consequences- ladies if you cheat*, give it back. Men if you cheat*- don’t you dare ask for anything.

*Replace cheat with lied about something big, are still married, failed to mention you are involved in criminal activity, etc.

The law says: It’s complicated, but most courts follow a modified fault or strict fault rule.

“Pursuant to a modified fault rule, the fiance is entitled to return of the ring unless he is the one who called off the engagement–justifiably or not...But equating the decision to call off the wedding with “fault” is, at best, superficial…The third possible rule is a strict fault rule, under which the giver is entitled to return of the ring unless he was at fault for the broken engagement. But in this scheme, a determination of fault requires a more nuanced analysis, which examines not only who called off the engagement, but also whether that person was justified in doing so.Of course, that inquiry inevitably enmeshes court in the complicated business of pinpointing the cause of a failed relationship. And who is to say when a broken engagement is justifiable?… Can it be simply something that makes marriage seem less desirable, like learning that one’s fiancée is a slob, or discovering that the parties don’t like to eat the same thing for dinner?” [Source]

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