Q: People just assume that because we are friends they are automatically invited to the wedding. How do I tell them that’s not so?

A: That depends on the circumstances and how comfortable you are at telling people no. When I planned on having a very, very, small wedding (less than 10 guests) someone who I am not that close with asked me if she could come and bring a date. I was so put off by this, and I wanted to say something really snarky, but I didn’t. I said: ” I’d love to have you there but this is a small wedding and I am not sure how the space issue will work out but I’ll let you know.” That bought me some time to really think about how to say no when the time came. But if someone is really your friend, you should be able to tell them honestly what’s going on. I do it all of the time.