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The Ring Series: Are Rings a Girly Thing?
Q: My guy doesn’t know if he wants to wear a wedding band. He says it normal not to. Is it?
A: For some people, it is normal. However I’d never heard of that until I saw some people talking about it on a message board. When I read it I thought, “Married men don’t wear rings on purpose? That’s crazy. All married men wear rings”. Then I thought back to an embarrassing story that happened years ago.. .
There was some repair guy at the house who was kind of cute and my mom had it in her mind that we should go out. She called me and told me to come home ASAP. I get home and she runs out and fixes my hair up and tells me to go give him a lemonade. I thought this was the silliest and most desperate thing in the world; but I did it anyway. Later on I started talking flirting with him and I don’t remember what I said but his response was “I’m married.” I looked at his hand and said with a nasty attitude, “then why don’t you have on a ring?” and then I stormed off as if I was Hilary Banks. It’s kind of funny now, but I was so mad at my mom. I remember her telling one of her friends about it and she said “well why didn’t he have on a ring?”
Back to the subject at hand. Apparently, before WWII it was rare for a groom to receive a ring. However during the war, rings turned into a symbol of the wives left at home. [Source] So if a man has a father who didn’t wear a ring then chances are he might not see why he needs to.
In my opinion, unless it’s a work related issue, married men (and women) should wear rings (or have some other symbol that indicates they are married.) That “it’s too girly” or “it’s not comfortable” excuse doesn’t fly with me. But then again I am possessive so please keep that in mind.
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I’ve been happily married for over fourteen years to a man who never once considered wearing a wedding ring. He doesn’t wear any jewelry at all - not even a watch.
When we were getting married, I couldn’t believe the number of women who insisted I had to get him a wedding ring and force him to wear it at least for the ceremony. I thought that was sort of ridiculous. Why waste the money on something he’d wear for one day under duress and spend the rest of his life resenting?
He does work with electricity a lot - which may well have been the reason your repairman didn’t wear a wedding ring. It can easily become a sort of lightning rod and get him electrocuted.
If a man’s honorable, he’ll be just as married without a ring as with one. If he’s not, a dozen rings won’t stop him straying…and it’s the same with women.
I love my wedding and engagement rings. I wear them with pride. I know my guy is proud to be married to me. He just doesn’t like to wear jewelry. I’m fine with that. After all, he’s never strayed and when we’re out in public together, he still holds my hand because he enjoys being close to me.
A ring isn’t particularly feminine any more than it’s particularly masculine. It’s merely symbolic. I think it’s up to each individual to choose whether the standard symbol is one they wish to use or not.
For my guy, the symbol meaningless, but what the ring usually symbolizes means the world to him. And you know, if I was going to get one half without the other, I think that was the way to have it.