I’ll tell you how to deal with stress…a bottle a booze and the words “leave me alone”. It works wonders.

I think some of those tips are quite good actually but I don’t agree that it HAS to be stressful.

My philosophy is that it depends on your approach, attitude and perception of what lays before you. If you think it’s going to be stressful, then it probably will be and unfortunately there is a general message in all written wedding material that says this time of life is stressful which is like a kind of unhelpful brainwashing.

We use the word stress for so much that isn’t really stress like irritation, impatience, confusion, anxiety, worry, tiredness. I think that with a personal approach wedding planning can be rewarding, fulfilling and memorable -yes challenging, unpredictable, and difficult but it is a unique time of life and if you go with the flow, stop resisting, communicate, get creative , the real, real stress will be minimal.

I’m absolutely with Lesley. Yes, things go wrong and sometimes the budget doesn’t stretch as far as you’d like, and people around you can lay their expectations on you until the cows come home. Some stress, frustration, confusion, etc. is very real and external. On the other hand, I do believe that a large percentage of wedding planning stress is self-imposed or simply allowed to build up to ridiculous heights in large part because it’s become so expected that people become convinced they’re doing it wrong if they aren’t tearing out their hair.

In reality, it’s the ones who aren’t tearing out their hair who are doing it right.

If you understand what makes YOU relaxed and calm and then do it that way, educate yourself before you begin, stay flexible, keep your eye on the ultimate goal, take breaks, and hold onto your sense of humor, it’s amazing how fun planning a wedding can be.

And this from the woman who was such a control freak she insisted on making her own wedding lace and self-catering. In fact, that’s a big part of how I kept it calm.