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Is it Rude to Only Invite to the Wedding?
Q: We are on a budget. We can’t feed everyone. Is it ok to invite some people to the wedding only and not the reception?
A: No, it’s not ok and I don’t see why you’d want to unless you are fishing for gifts. “Come to my wedding, watch me walk down the aisle, bring me a gift and leave it on the table on your way out.”
Have the wedding & reception you can afford. If that means you can’t invite everyone and their momma’s momma then so be it. Cut down your guest list, but don’t cut it in such a way that you are excluding people from one part of the festivities. If that doesn’t work, I am sure there are other areas you can cut back on.
If the only reason you are inviting them is for the gifts, then yes - it’s wrong. But - by rules of etiquette, a wedding invitation should never come with the expectation of a gift anyway. Inviting or not inviting someone should have absolutely nothing to do with wanting gifts (though, there are many brides who are that shallow unfortunately)
It is not uncommon to have a ceremony only invitation and only immediately family for a much smaller reception. Generally, there receptions are just small dinners - not a full dance/bar affair and are kept very low key.
If your concern is that people will feel they need to buy gifts, include a note on the invitation saying “Your presence is our gift” - then, if they still choose to bless you with a gift anyway, then let them.
Another option is to plan a afternoon or evening wedding ceremony(not over a meal time) with a cake/champagne reception for all your guests. Then, host a private dinner party following for your immediate family only. This allows you to celebrate with everyone affordably and still have the intimate affordable dinner reception as well.