Unless your name appears on the envelope.

Simple as that.

I guess I should have prepared myself for some of my wedding guests not to be familiar with that rule but I didn’t. Our R.S.V.P. options are via phone or via our website. I thought I’d slyly stick in a remark about “invited guests can R.S.V.P. below” on the website. As for the phone; it’s just a voicemail line and it says something to the extent of “please state the names of all invited guests who will be in attendance”.

That didn’t work because people are still adding on guests….

I should show some compassion because if you’ve never planned a wedding before you probably don’t see why it’s a big deal to add on your date/lover/cousin/etc. You probably have no idea that the couple is paying per person and you probably never considered that they either don’t want to, or can’t afford to pay for someone they don’t know.

So what’s an annoyed bride to do?

The (not so) simple thing to do is to call the offenders and politely let them know that there must have been some misunderstanding because you invited X and they R.S.V.P.ed for X and Y.

Before I knew I was definitely going to have this problem I told my mom that I was going to make those calls if it happened. She said, “What if they say: ‘Yup that’s right. We are coming’ .”

I told her that I will say “Well unfortunately due to budget and space restraints we are only able to accommodate a party of X. Should I put you down as accepting or declining.?”

Of course she told me that would be rude. I don’t think it’s rude, I think it’s a little harsh and unexpected. However it’s even more rude to put the future bride and groom in the position of even having to make those calls.